Musings of an idle mind ...

Sometimes even the most humiliating questions lead to the most enlightening moments of your life . It was a long day . A very long one to be precise as I sat there waiting on a dust laden bench in pune railway station with a please-gimme-atleast-one-biscuit longing dog staring at me as I finished the last 'good day' biscuit . Well , the biscuits name strangely seemed to be mocking at me as I got reminded of the day ....

It was yet another interview , yet another pursuit for the MBA madness..Unfortunately , these gentlemen in the panel were interested in what I learnt in engineering( However I appreciate the thought !!! feels nice ) ... I struggled to remember a few basic theorems he had asked in electrical engineering (5 years is a really looong time...And phew ,what a eureka moment to realise that ) and of course later followed by a How-does-it-work question with his fingers pointing out to any object remotely connected to electricity in the room or rather was kept near an electrical plug point . I stared at him , with an inner voice replyin 'boss I am not your I-read-daily-lessons and an-electrical-engineer-is-what-I-always-wanted-to-be kinda guy , I am a normal , yet another part of the humble race of ppl who open their books a day before the exams , curse the author , drink the magic potion "tea" to stand against the travails of a closing eyelid and finally at the end of it all find the true joy in life when they see the P- for pass in their results"....Not even the such- deep-indepth knowledge ( ahem...ahem...) that I gained during my insightful engineering years came to my help , as the two years of life as a software professional had robbed me of the remaining so-called-electrical-knowledge .

"Kripya , dhyan dijiye " an abrupt voice ended my flashback . I flexed my muscles and lifted the huge bag that I had containing a shirt , a pant and my underwear . The girls stood there wowed at my ability to lift such a huge bag with such an ease . Or so I thought as the only other specimen whom I had previously introduced to you "the dog " ...yup the same one which was after my good day biscuit gave a bark which said "you better get lost before I ....(censored) "..

Thus with such a nice farewell I boarded the train and soon after was lying on the top berth enjoyin the little wafts of air which these old fans strangely still seem to produce .

Somewhere deep inside I was feeling a little bad for screwing the interview . And the question dawned " So what exactly was engineering all about if it was not for the circuits , motors or whatever ????

And slowly I drifted away ...

Those increasing ‘lub-dub’ sounds of my heart when I bunked a class for the first time in my life , those “macha , quick da ...the watchman might see us “ shouts as I crawled beneath the fence which was neatly cut by some kind hearted senior just enough for me to pass excluding my tummy , and after a 5 minute extreme-yoga-inhaling session I managed to pass through but unfortunately my jeans bore a small hole which would go on to become the only remains of the history of adventurous bunkings that followed , and those long journeys back to the city to watch ‘our kinda’ movies ....Those “wowwwwww.......” exasperation as we stood in the middle of satyam theatre gaping at mallika sherawat scorching the screens in Murder ,those few shouts that followed from behind which meant we better find our seats else the name of the movie might not just remain a coincidence ...Those gossips which went about the college as to who was with whom , and what did x do with y while z went on with q ....soon the gossip section at the end of the four years stood like – ABCDEFG ...XYZ and you just had to keep rearranging them ...those laments about ‘wont we ever get a girl friend ‘ ...those 5 minute glances at unknown faces and those 1 in a million probability where they get returned ....those classes which taught you the art of sleeping with eyes wide open , those gruelling lab sessions , record writing and finally those vivas where you learn the philosophy ‘when a rape is inevitable , its better to lie back and enjoy “ ...Those lovely friendships which you make ...a few which last ...a few which don’t ...the joy of discovering the chillness of the sea in a late evening at marina , those days when I felt why couldn’t life just stay like this as I blew the smoke from the lemon flavoured hookah ...the smoke that made everything around hazy , unclear but yet a sense of inner peace somehow strangely seemed to be there as the world that I had always known disappeared ... the juice shop at nungambakkam which provided the perfect inspiration to all our life’s useless philosophies on girls , beer ,bikes and porn...those cremation ceremonies for many a chicken at our own Loyola fast food ...those placement blues ...those gre,cat madness ...those football matches which took us through an entire year....Those love affairs , those fights , those disappointments , those failures ...Those inevitable fightbacks against life , just barely managing to stand after a lots of falls... Those once- in- a -blue -moon good scores ...and those......

Oops , I have reached Chennai and thanks to the benevolent soul who shook me up and ended the ‘happy-days’ movie of my life...

I slowly woke up as the answer dawned

So what exactly was engineering all about if it was not for the circuits , motors or whatever ????

“Two days with a 100 bucks second hand bakshi textbook from the moore market , and I would have answered each and every “how does this crap work “ questions.....But those lovely memories and moments of these 4 years ...hmmmm... College wasn't just about the motors ,the circuits ,the labs , thesemester exams ,the placements ....Its was about something else

It was about life....

And boy , I did live mine !!!!

ARNOLD KUMAR goes to the gym !!!!!

It was the ...umm ...I don't remember the exact count but must be the sixth or the seventh time I was glued on to star movies watching my thala ( our screen heroes for whom we would do anything ) sylvester stallone bash up the Russians in RAMBO 3 . All pumped up I went in front of the mirror , stripped off my shirt ...And giving a What-a-man look at myself , I shouted "yeaaaaaaaahhhhhh " which almost shook my entire colony (My downstairs mama has got yet another reason to complain against me in the society meeting ...).

I wrenched and flexed each and every not-visible-to-human-eye muscles on my body and called my young 10 year old brother .In fact he had come there without me calling him courtesy- my nasal capacity ."Count the no of packs " I called out to him giving a proud look .

"One . " he stopped . "And then ..." I flexed again ..."One" this time he sounded louder "and that's it ".......

"Yeahhhhhhhhh" I growled again and took two push ups (the maximum till date ) ... "Now count " I sounded like an arrogant goon .

"One "......."Ayoo , mummy , even thollai thangalai...please help me " ( Loosely translated - "I am fed up with his antics...mom please save me )...

Soon I realised I had just a single pack . Five short .

Oh god . I thought for five minutes sitting at the place where each and every guy on earth spends his maximum time and usually comes up with brilliant ideas .Soon I flushed all the useless ideas and came out . Decided . I am hitting the gym from tomorrow ...

"MISSION ARNOLD KUMAR " - from arun kumar to arnold kumar in three weeks ......

(coz sylvester kumar sounded weird )

The next day at gym...

"Macha don't over do ...just warm up "said my so called body builder , friend Visu .

"ha ha ...ethellam nee arun kumar kitta sollu ...naan arnold kumar da " I growled looking sympathetically at the other silly-small-boy-body-builders out there as I kept dancing around in a round disc which kept rotating from one side to the other along with me . This was easy . I mean for Arnold kumar , obviously , anything was easy .

Then slowly I lifted some weights and did a few other similar versions of it and finally when I went on to the leg crunches section . "Macha , you are over doing it ...do the leg thing next week else you wont be able to walk " he warned ..."Silly fellow ...kumar...arnold kumar machan " I replied with the poise of Reid & Bond ad.

He gave a smile for which I didn't know the reason then . I slowly worked for another half an hour and finally packed off . Felt great that day . Did some shadow boxing on the streets oblivious of the constant stares from the garment-factory figures and the so-called-ladies-college ....umm its hurts but still...Figures ( phew , I managed to type it )...

The whole day went about boasting about my adventures at gym . My poor bro was lifted into the air many a times as a testimonial for my gymming . Poor bro , I can imagine how I would have felt had someone lifted me somewhere close to the ceiling fan and rotated me ....

Finally I slept early as I was very tired .

The next morning ...oops sorry the next afternoon I was still struggling to get myself out of my bed . Felt someone should bring a stretcher to get me to the bathroom . Oh no . Each and every muscle ( don't laugh ...no comedy intended .I might have muscles ..miracles do happen ...)...coming back each and every muscle pained .

And suddenly my cell phone rang . "Come to my office urgently . I have some work for you " my mom spoke . Oh but why today . Anyway , with no other option I somehow managed to get up and when I began to walk . Oh , what the fuck . I was walking as if I had a football in between my legs . ( "Macha , you are over doing it ...do the leg thing next week else you wont be able to walk " the flashback played across ) ....I tried to join them but in vain .

Oh no , I was getting late . Will check this out later I told myself and soon I was there standing amidst the passengers of chennai suburban rail. And the imaginary football between my legs was still there . I tried different styles and position to bring them back together . But nothing worked and while I was still trying I saw a small boy staring at me and he wore a naughty smile . Then he stared at something behind me . I turned to see what it was . It was the diagram of a man with a huge ....ummm...ditch it ....it read ...Dr rajkumar ...some crap...contact me for cure of hernia ...Oh no ...Now I understood (My flashback went to those L.K.G days when my father warned me to wear an underwear or I would end up like that ). The boy was still staring with the I know-what-you-did-smile intact . Aaaarghhhh ...Naan avan ellai thambi (I am not him )...Its not what you think , dear young fellow ...Oh , but how do I explain . The stop arrived and I got down . He still kept staring and suddenly he broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter ...Aaaargh...I quickly turned around and tried to walk normally ..But in vain ...Arnold kumar - the damage is done .....

I stood staring at the mirror at the end of day happy to get rid of the imaginary football (of course after a whole day's struggle ) and decided a single pack was much better for me .

Finally after much emotional trauma and tears , I , arun kumar , bade goodbye to Arnold kumar .....

And that's how the world lost Arnold kumar.........(Sobs)

P.S : I wish I never come across the boy in my entire life ...

What a maggi !!!

Knowing her penchant for laziness I had my doubts as to whether she could cook . But dismissing all my doubts , "I know to make maggi " she replied . I dont know if I-know-to-prepare-maggi would be considered anywhere close to the art of cooking . But the fact that I was impressed by it would let you form an idea about how much I knew about cooking . I always preffered the final step in cooking . Eating .

Now that the great cook was a maggi expert I cut the maggi packet and broke down the maggi amidst thunderous applauds from her . I bowed to show my respect and gently told "now you proceed madam". "Oh , but I dont know to operate the gas ". Now the man in me had to come out to the front . I did all the necessary permutation and combination and finally gave her a smile of victory . And I quickly dialled my mom to get the details on how to operate the gas . "Thu " the spit narrowly missed my face ...

Soon with the gas burning , we were all set to cook our first lunch . After 5 minutes of reciting the process from the torn maggi packet and yet another five minutes of anxious wait ( the one where you walk across here and there in front of a maternity ward ), the maggi was ready .

I took two plates and she gave a stern look after which I dumped one plate back to where it was . Slowly we emptied the so-called-maggi into the single plate . Had it been a little more solid I would have rolled it into a banana. Anyway just like the ones who had never seen food , the two forks fought across each and every corner of the plate picking each and every noodle . In 3 minutes the , best lunch of my life had got over. I looked at her and gave her a smile .

I slowly took the maggi wrapper and read the ingredients ,
A little bit of maggi ,
A small amount of water ,
A little bit of masala ,
A little bit of chopped vegetables ,

And I gave a pause , looked at her..

"And loads of love " we shouted in unison and soon after the laughs filled the room.......

What a maggi !!!!!

Before-the-exam moments !!!

"Oh shit , I still have got 4 more unit's to complete and still just one more day to go " , the perspiration started showing on my otherwise stoic face . I looked at the clock - the hour hand seemed to be in a hurry because three hours had just passed by and I was still stuck with the weird diagram of an electrical circuit . Though I don't believe in mythological stories , I believe the art of turning pages while studying for an exam would come closest to the current version of Akshaya Pathiram . They simply , keep on coming . And no wonder my mind thinks of all these weird comparisons before an exam ...

"watha , u bloody motherfucker 'induction motor ' " I swore at the diagram in my textbook. I was fed up . I dont care the f*** , how u rotate , how u start or about anything else you do . Strange as it is , I guess the lone piece of induction motor hanging above me heard it, as it stopped suddenly . Holy shit , the current had gone ( courtesy arcot veeraswamy , our electricity minister ) . Another hour passed by as I stood by my balcony and went on a killer spree killing each and every mosquito which came in my way with the electric bat . And each time , I killed one , the spark would come and my young brother ashwin would clap . I gave a wicked laugh relishing the killing spree . "That one has escaped " my brother pointed to one notorious mosquito which tried escaping from me . I chased it . "Daaaaaaaaaai " I ran behind it . "aaaaaaahhhhh" a loud sound of someone crashing on the floor came . "loose "( a moment of truth in pain is what I would call it !!!) my brother ajith yelled out before giving me a kick . "Aaaaaahhh" now it was my turn . Suddenly there was a big spark . The lights turned on and the same-under-curse induction motor starts revolving . "Aaaahhaaaaaa" we shouted in unison as the breeze from the khaitan fan gave us a welcome relief from the heat .Simply put , "aaaaaaaaaa" vilirunthu "aaaahaaaaaaa varai ... ( By this time you must be shouting "aaaaaa" after reading such a P.J , else if you are a ardent follower of tamil movies especially the vijaykanth genre , it would be "DAIIIIIIII , mariyathaya come to the topic ")

Coming back to the so-called story ,the four units still remained . I again took the heavy weights in the form of my books with a deep "sigh" , to the extent, that would have made it obvious to my mom sitting in the next room that I didnt brush my teeth . But it was fine ,as long as she didn't find out that ,I hadn't taken my bath . Oh No , its 11 . Its the "Kadalai Time " ( the only time when I am punctual ). the cell phone buzzed with the obvious name flashing on the tiny screen . Machan , please dont waste time else definite "govinda !!! govinda !!! " - the inner voice spoke . "Cha , silly fellow " I told and suppressed him .

"Oye , I've got lots to study . so we will wind up in ten minutes and another help , You got to wake me up at 4 in the morning ," I told her slightly terrified about the repercussions ."Sure da" she replied . She had agreed . I still couldn't believe it was her . Man , I can never understand these girls . After what looked like a few minutes , she spoke few words which froze the skin under my blood ."Oye , I guess you have saved me the trouble of waking you up at 4. Its already 3 . 30 " My entire body became numb .It just seemed as if we just started . Well thats the magic which only girls can perform and in my case it was much easier . Words struggled to come out of my mouth , felt as if someone had stuck a fresh , round piece of dung into my mouth and on top of it was drilling it with a rod ( honestly not only the mouth rather at a part which ends my digestion process) . I quickly said goodbye and the numbness in my body slowly moved towards my brain and soon I was fast asleep .

"Wake up ," I saw the unclear round face of my mom and after a ninety degree turn I saw yet another round face showing 10.30 . "Oh shit " ( not the literal meaning , and the timing was just a coincidence ) I jumped on the bed . And in five minutes I was ready for the last phase of the battle . The pages turned , the books interchanged and as always the head spun .

The climax was nearing . It was a losing battle . Amazingly , the clock struck 5 . Well whats-your-bloody-hurry look sprang up my face when I stared at the clock, as always cursing it . "OK its not working " I thought to myself .Now for the final savior . I took the savior as delicately as I could in my palms , my eyes gleamed with evil pride and wickedness . The dull pages of the torn previous year anna univ question booklet cast its shadow covering my entire pupil . The battle is not yet over . We Fight till we die - a chorus rang through my head as the inner me had gathered a crowd . 15 questions and thats it . And the rest shall be put to ' rest ' . The marathon began and finally ended with the books getting piled over my face as I got buried amongst them slowly at midnight.

The next day dawned and a few hours later , when I was just about to enter the exam hall ,

"god , help me get above 90" a poor padips girl was praying .
I gave an Ayoo-what-a-pity smile .( didnt know whom to pity )
I murmured something to myself . Curious huh . Well here it goes - " vantha malai pona may***" ( sorry wont be able to translate . anyway let me try, "If it clicks its a mountain else its hair gone "... late realization I shouldn't have translated ...lol). I grinned and entered .

Well the rest they say is history . Honestly , how much ever we loathe exams , when played back in the memory they always are special and enjoyable. The fun and the moments they provide us are worth every bit of the effort .Everyone has their own Before-the-exam traumas and debacles , but finally after all the struggles , the joy of seeing that '"pass " on your mark sheet .. truly priceless....I hope you ppl reading this would be reminded of your 'before exam moments' except for the rare case that you belong to the padips category ( who knows even they might have some stories . Its a funny world with funny ppl . U never know ). And I am sure each of you have an interesting story and would probably be smiling thinking of those lovely days . Well , do stay in the same mood and keep smiling while I return soon .

P.S: I did pass the exam . ahem ahem .... Just pass !!!!

Those li'l things in life !!!

"One of the greatest matches in the history of world wrestling federation is about to unfold in front of your eyes - JOHN CENA vs BIG SHOW "...

"Its a do or die match for me ...I somehow got to beat the menacing and unbeatable CENA ," I thought to myself as I was preparing for my bout .

"You will definitely lose .Do you want to quit before the match .This is your last chance ," my seven year old brother gave me a stern warning with a cute-baleful look ( obviously the irony coz it comes from a seven year old and if you dont trust me look at the pic).

.

Well , it was the yet-another-eventful-weekend where both me and my bro were getting ready for our championship match . It had become a regular ritual .

The JOHN CENA was obviously my invincible bro -
ASWIN

age : 7

matches played :6

matches won : 6

Chest : Hardly covers the rib cage
biceps : 10 cms to be precise

abs : got a round lovely single pack

hates : school ,homework , environmental science , books , me ( i.e Batista , Big show , undertaker...keeps changing every week ) , milk ...

likes : video games , cartoon network , spiderman , superman and all the various versions of 'whatever-mans' , ice creams , wwf , John Cena , trying his newly learned stunts against the poor 'me' ...

Well his name was always the same while mine used to change every week . This week I was supposed to be BIG SHOW ( Partly because of my increase in weight recently ,thanks to the sacrifice from the delicious race of 'KOZHI' Aka 'CHICKENS ') ...

And the referee , none other than the sweetest person in the world - my mom.

This time it was an 'I QUIT' match ( for those who have grown old and lost touch with the once-upon-a-time-wwf-craze an I QUIT match is a match where the the one who says "I quit" first is the loser ...)

With the winamp player thumping the theme music of John Cena, my bro enters the room looks around towards the four walls , raises his arms dreaming about the 1 lakh plus crowd cheering him . And finally he gets into the ring (i.e my bed which has witnessed all the violence and glories of the previous weeks ).

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii" he shouts and pounces on me. the fight has begun . He gives me a punch and then a kick . My mom shouts " Come on , John " ( You called him JOHN huh...no wonder u deserve a special applause for ur enthusiasm )...

As always I give in . But I should not give him an easy win for JOHN CENA is supposed to win after a tough fight ( or else his pride would be affected ) . So as usual I block some of his blows and push him down on the bed and press him on the bed . He remains helpless for a few seconds after which a deafening "aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgghhhhhhhh , " sound rocks my entire flat .( NO wonder the downstairs mama is not a fan of JOHN CENA..lol)... Just like how the heroes in our movies suddenly get a spurt of anger on seeing their sister being molested by the goon and break the shackles with a 'aaa' sound my bro suddenly gains power and breaks my grip...he again gives me a kick . The look on his face . Priceless. I wouldnt mind a million kicks for that happiness .

Now I lay back on the bed acting unconscious . But usually the routine is he would ask me for a defeat and he would be declared a winner . But this time , strangely even after a few seconds nothin seemed to be happening . So I secretly opened my eyes and turned back . I saw my bro a few feet above me hanging on my window pane . Oh no . "Daiiiiiii , here I come ," he jumped from there . "AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh" ...he landed on my back .... and that really hurt ( Ada pavi I thought to myself wondering where the referee had gone ..."kula vilakku " I heard a distant voice from the living room...now I knew where the referee was ( Kula vilakku is the name of the never ending serial which was partly responsible for my broken back that day .....)

"I quit " I shouted ....

John cena aka ashwin stood there , with a priceless expression of ecstasy written all over his face. He had won against the BIG SHOW . He raised his hands and shouted "I won ..." and started jumping . He was the champion and that was his 7 th consecutive victory . He was invincible . The moment of joy , his laughter and his proud look , just made my back pain vanish. These are moments which have been lost in the facades of the complicated process of growing up . We have long forgotten , the art of dreaming that is bestowed in plenty with these innocent minds , those little joys which your credit card could never buy , those joys of winning , the naive confidence that you could 'do' and 'be' whatever you wanted ..... .Well thanks a lot for reminding me of these little but most important things in life . I love you bro . Hope you too dont get lost like 'us'..

And I realised that , sometimes the true joy of winning is found in losing too....

The Birthday surprise !!!

"Machan , tomorrow is her birthday and I am planning to give her a surprise " I spoke over the phone to dinesh . "Great da. enjoy machan " he replied ..."Well...err...I am going to her place now da and I want you to come with me " I reluctantly asked ..."WTF machan...Its 10 p.m da . are you crazy ??""No da . I am damn serious .....".I tried convincing him..After a lot of if's and but's I finally convinced dinesh . Phew , a good start I thought to myself .

He came in his activa and we started out on our journey at 11 . "Dai ...think again..I guess its too risky ..What if someone sees you or her parents wake up ", Dinesh kept asking the unanswerable question ..Well to be honest I was very afraid . I could not even imagine the consequences but however the thrill and the feel of surprising her somehow overcame the fear. "Whatever happens we are going machan "......

11.45 p.m...
Standing in the adjacent street "now whats the plan " I asked ..
"Fucker , we come until here and you ask whats the plan ..."
"I mean I need to go ..But I need some reassurance da...Just act as if we are brave machan .."
Till this point it was all fine but after coming there I really wanted to piss in my pants ..the heart beats had just started beating at the rate that any doctor from the tamil movies would have exclaimed "Its a medical miracle "...

"Ok listen...you wait here ..I shall call her now and then take your activa , ride it till her gate , and then give her the gift and return...simple " ...Well how I wished it was as easy as that ...

"Hi "I called her on the phone ..
"Idiot , you are too early its not yet 12 "
As if i didn't know ...."umm...well , I will be there at your gates at 12...So just come out " I tried faking a voice which knew no fear...But however my legs were shaking ( body strong ...ana basement weaku)

"wtf " ...strangely everyone scolded me the same way..."u gone nuts ...what if ...."she said ...and after 5 minutes of bashing " K ...I will come " .....( and that's the spirit honey)

"Ooooooooo....." I gave dinesh a hi five and took his bike( In case if he ever reads it he will be a happy guy coz I called it a bike ...)

"All the best da...and before you go I am really afraid of the dogs ...I cant stand here. tell me some way out "

"Ada pavi .." I cursed him ...2 minutes later there was a poor , innocent guy with a stone as huge as his head in his arms for protection against the so called evils of the street dogs and the one and only me getting ready for the action . I prayed to god that no one should come by this street for they would seriously mistake dinesh to be the "mystery-stone-killer" ...

Finally gathering my guts , I started . For once even the activa engine sound seemed to be deafening . I had just slowly given the throttle but before I even realised I was in front of her gate . I switched the engine off . But still there was some sound similar to the engine . Oh , shit ..It was my heart. I guess my blood was on a race course track inside my arteries . I gave her the coveted call and whispered "come down "...

I just looked around . There was absolute darkness except for the lone street lamp at the corner of the street . Thankfully the dogs were not there or dinesh must be engaging them in the next street I thought . Saw a shadow moving across the window panes . I took a deep breath .

I got off the bike and went near her gate and stood casually as if nothing was going to happen.

And suddenly "grrr" a voice echoed .The murphys law was working (IF something can go wrong it definitely will )...grrr ...brrr...bow bow ...a dog started barking from inside the gate .But she never warned me about the dog . Oh fuck... The lights turned on...not just at her home but even at the neighbours place . I jumped to my activa . It didnt start...Oh fuck , Please start (I even called you a bike ). .."Watchman ...Catch him " a voice shouted . Oh GOD ..."Please save me "I prayed . The activa started but not before a strong hand had come over my shoulders.... a few hours later ...inside the K4 police station "Sir , I am from a decent family . Inspector Balram , please trust me . I didn't come to steal .I just came to ...."

"Oye ..Idiot " a voice whispered ... I thought inspector Balram had a gruff voice looking at his huge physique ..But somehow strangely it sounded very sweet ...

"Oye idiot ...u alive " he again asked ...suddenly I got into my senses it was not he , it was she . I was still at the gates before I had started dreaming . Thankfully there was no MR inspector Balram , It was her , standing near the gate . She looked very beautiful ..Sleepy eyes , unkempt hair, a pink night dress , a milky white face which glowed under the moonlight and a mesmerizing smile - well , I had lost my heart yet again . Felt the same way , when I had first seen her in college three years back . "Ooops ...Happy birthday honey ...and you look damn beautiful ," I shook her soft hands . Aaaha . Feeling her palms in the midnight was certainly worth the effort ...Before I again get dreamy , I gave her the gift and said "Oye , happy birthday once again ...and will meet you tomorrow in a much better way " ....

"Thank you dumbo ...really sweet of you !!! " , She again gave her cute smile and vanished ...ha ha ....mission successful ... and what a birthday surprise !!! .. Time for me to vanish as well ....see you in the next post ...

P.S : Dinesh was safe ...To be honest the dogs were safe...

Namma Chennai !!!

"Dai , You better forget her ...I am putting route for her ..." , the stern and terrifying voice of kandaswamy broke the silence . Accompanying Kandaswamy were three of his friends kuppuswamy , dina and raja all equally menacing .

"No I wont ...I have been loving her for the past 3 years ...If I don't leave her what will you do " , Munuswamy replied without any remorse .

Phatt...The sound of a slap broke through the air .

A few hours later ,
"Machan , they have kept their hands on me da ... call our guys " Munuswamy spoke frantically over the phone ...A shaky auto , 5 goons compressed inside it , the war had begun..."drive it straight to kandaswamy's home "....

"Dai , If you are born to one father , come out " munuswamy retorts ...(Its an age old dialog trying to ignite the feelings of " Respect " in the enemy in order to make him come out )

Kandaswamy comes out ...Fear showed in his eyes ...

and suddenly , the turn of events ...

"Machi , how are you ...long time ...I never knew he was your friend...I am extremely sorry boss...I will forget her ... " , and as expected one of the goons is a friend of kandaswamy and they all become friends ...( Always remember the basic rule of street fight ...whatever is the problem be the one to hit first ...else u will never get to hit back )

In case you find it familiar , you are a chennaiite or else welcome to chennai ...

Whenever there is a street fight there is just one reason ..."Area Figure "...due to gods unfavorable distribution of gals , chennai has always suffered from the scarcity of good looking gals . So as expected the hardly-available-one-very-average figure in the area gets the coveted title of "Area-figure". And though the area figure has no idea about the guys behind her , there would be n number of guys fighting amongst themselves as to who has the right to 'try' for her ...

That's how most of the friendships are made in the streets across chennai .The reasons may sometimes be even more insane than this , but however these friendships are the ones which go beyond money , status, caste , creed and everything else .... the quintessential chennai "machan " friendships which comprise of the screeching whistles at the movies , the bike races , the night-outs , the drunkard parties at the terrace , the bantering , "machan-you-also-got-a bulb-from-her" happiness , the neighborhood aunties , the cricket matches , the paneer soda , the area fights , the stomach-burning sessions at marina after seeing the couples , the dead body dances on new year eve, the thalaivar first day first show , the fast food chilli chicken ....Well though most of us were never a part of this kandaswamys and muniswamys we always loved their spirit... and how much ever we try to loathe them , some small part of our heart goes out to them ...wherever we go in chennai they are there . After all they are the ones who stand as the testimony for the "ever-smiling-ever-rocking spirit of chennai "...

As I keep writing this "Dai arun , un figura vittudhu !!! ava en alu " madasamys calls out to me....These guys never change and so does chennai...lol

Keep rocking dear kandasamys and munisamys ...

And getting reminded about the spirit and mood of chennai this video captures it all . Enjoy it and keep smiling while I return soon ...

love phobia !!!

"Macha don't know why she left me da . I feel like killing myself. In fact I just want to drive up this flyover and just dive straight into the air and finally everything would be over " .......

A awkward chill ran through my spine. Because in case if he really does something like that though the probability was very less ( because most of the love-failure categories are like politicians , they have a long list of what to do, but they never do ) , along with him will get shattered the dreams of two innocent young guys ( me and visu ....stop laughing please we are really innocent...)...Oh god u still haven't stopped laughing ...k ...a la vijay style ....Dai .....pesitirukken ellai....silence (in case u don't understand please watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUosDdS9Rd8 ) ....

"Oh god, I still haven't seen anything in life ...literally anything ..." Visu thought to himself ....(when a guy says he hasn't seen anything it obviously refers to ...err...You are matured readers I guess)...

"Dai , don't get emotional macha . She wasn't lucky enough da . Free da. You will definitely get a better one " I said . "Ya macha.As if there is a scarcity of girls an the city. For every muniyamma lost there is a kannama waiting in the next street " , Visu was at his usual best . Thankfully Shakeela laughed and I gave him company . As long as we crossed the flyover any distraction was welcome ...

For every muniyamma lost there is a kannama waiting in the next street ..aaha ...sometimes even the most casual gigs have a lot of intrinsic meaning hidden in it .How true , if everyone were to think like that , there would be no more ayoo-my-gf-has-left-me lamentings , tears and suicides . But I guess everything is easier said then done and until we experience the pain of it , we would never really understand it...

Somehow we got deeply affected by it and I said " good one da...dai shakeela (his nickname and please dont ask me why ) , avala freeya vidu macha , You are going to fall in love with the next decent figure we come across after the next street ." ....

"Oooooooooooo ....ya da ...machi keep driving ...aga thats an aunty ..rejected ...that one is too young...and that one is too beautiful for you " Visu went on...( Well in case you didn't know my friend visu , he is one of the rare species of mankind who could literally rape a girl just by seeing them , his sighting techniques are that dangerous ...lol..in short "kannuliye karpazhikkaradhu "))

"Ada paveengala " shakeela exclaimed ...

We were in no mood to listen ..."Macha how about that one " , Visu asked me ...."I guess her husband walking along with her won't be too happy with the proposal...". The usual laughs followed .

This is the true fun of going out with guys even the most stupidest of ideas can make your day . And there are no hassles of going to coffee day ,rather you can sip a 2rs tea and comment on anything from the low hip jeans of the girl walking by(the most important point is you can see other girls) to why nayanthara is better than namitha..No requirements for table manners , can go out with just 20 bucks in your wallet , no boring romance flicks , no need to compliment " maplai , you look gorgeous " , most importantly you can hang out late in the nights and I don't need to ask visu and shakeela to cover their faces with their hankies for the fear of getting caught...lol.. And there are just three universal topics for a guys discussion ...
girls , girls and girls... 23 years and we still haven't changed ...

And suddenly "MACHA ...Just look at that...Can you believe that ...what hands machan...so tender, so soft ( just for the sake of decency and fear of anbumani ramadoss the actual words have been camouflaged )...macha thats the one " Visu said pointing at the auto in front of us . Aaaha the game had begun . Macha follow her...

"Dai stick to the left da ...signal da...careful..."

With a few wannabe stunts , courtesy THE FAST AND FURIOUS , we managed to park our car just next to the auto .. I lowered the window glass , and there I saw in the somewhat dark yet bright lighting ( maybe from her face ) inside the auto ...The most beautiful face on the face of earth or so I thought as it was not really clear . I knew it was beautiful . Maybe I had done a grave mistake in commiting her to shakeela...Aaaaah..."

" But everything is fair in love and war "I thought to myself ....
I bet even Visu must have been thinking on the same lines ....

The signal turned green . We followed . "Macha we are supposed to go straight but they are turning right ...."

"Just follow , macha " I shouted ....Phew , this love makes even the coolest lose their cool ...

We kept following with a few divine glimpses of her hands . Those coloured bangles contrasted with her fair hands , and though we were at quite a distance , whenever she shook her hands I could hear the music here in my heart ...Love waves I thought...lol

We kept following trying to get a good glimpse of her . We had come almost 3-4 km out of our way . But who cares. " Aah , there it is . I saw her legs machan . Beautiful sandals machan " Visu
exclaimed ."Super da ", we both congratulated him with envious smiles .

The journey went on with each one us getting different forms of blessings at different junctures of time depending on the driving skills of shakeela . Not bad at all...

And finally , to our surprise , we found the auto slowing down . Guessed that was her home . "Macha this area is pretty near , So it wont be a problem ", Shakeela spoke in joy . Now suddenly even 10 km's seemed to be near. "Funny people !!! Funny world !!!" I thought to myself ...

She got down . Heavenly structure . Truly . phew . I could hear the deep sighs of the other two . Her straightened hair covered her face . We waited with bated breath for our blessings just as people wait for the first day first show of a rajni movie . the much awaited wind blew . The hair across her face just swept along with the breeze uncovering the ....

Damaaaaaaaaal !!! ( A heart breaking sound)

I know you are all expecting this ..Ha ha ..Too smart . But I am sorry to disappoint you .No heartbreaks . She was more beautiful than we had expected . Her face was just round like the full moon and was spotless . Her bangles fought with each other and again I heard the music in my heart . Her eyes were so innocent and round complementing her face .The earrings dangled in the breeze and so did our hearts .She gave a mesmerizing smile , lifting us up straight into heaven . "What a beauty "we all exclaimed .

damaaaal !!!

damaaaaaaaaaal !!!

damaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal !!!


There were three loud bursts . The last and the longest one was mine .

but why ???

a one hundredth of a millisecond back ,

"Mummy , why so late...did you buy the chocolates ", young boy came running and hugged her .

"Ayoooooooo .....Pocheeeeeeee!!!!", we all wailed together .( Its gone ...Poi pochu ...The amrutanjan ad came in front of me )

That was the end of our short but sweet love story ...

Ten minutes later, there we were again on the flyover .

And maybe now the idea of diving from the flyover wouldn't sound bad at all...........