Jun 24, 2009

ARNOLD KUMAR goes to the gym !!!!!

It was the ...umm ...I don't remember the exact count but must be the sixth or the seventh time I was glued on to star movies watching my thala ( our screen heroes for whom we would do anything ) sylvester stallone bash up the Russians in RAMBO 3 . All pumped up I went in front of the mirror , stripped off my shirt ...And giving a What-a-man look at myself , I shouted "yeaaaaaaaahhhhhh " which almost shook my entire colony (My downstairs mama has got yet another reason to complain against me in the society meeting ...).

I wrenched and flexed each and every not-visible-to-human-eye muscles on my body and called my young 10 year old brother .In fact he had come there without me
calling him courtesy- my nasal capacity ."Count the no of packs " I called out to him giving a proud look .

"One . " he stopped . "And then ..." I flexed again ..."One" this time he sounded louder "and that's it ".......

"Yeahhhhhhhhh" I growled again and took two push ups (the maximum till date ) ... "Now count " I sounded like an arrogant goon .

"One "......."Ayoo , mummy , even thollai thangalai...please help me " ( Loosely translated - "I am fed up with his antics...mom please save me )...

Soon I realised I had just a single pack . Five short .

Oh god . I thought for five minutes sitting at the place where each and every guy on earth spends his maximum time and usually comes up with brilliant ideas .Soon I flushed all the useless ideas and came out . Decided . I am hitting the gym from tomorrow ...

KUMAR " - from arun kumar to arnold kumar in three weeks ......

(coz sylvester kumar sounded weird )

The next day at gym...

"Macha don't over do ...just warm up "said my so called body builder , friend Visu .

"ha ha ...ethellam nee arun kumar kitta sollu ...naan arnold kumar da " I growled looking sympathetically at the other silly-small-boy-body-builders out there as I kept dancing around in a round disc which kept rotating from one side to the other along with me . This was easy . I mean for Arnold kumar , obviously , anything was easy .

Then slowly I lifted some weights and did a few other similar versions of it and finally when I went on to the leg crunches section . "Macha , you are over doing it ...do the leg thing next week else you wont be able to walk " he warned ..."Silly fellow ...kumar...arnold kumar machan " I replied with the poise of Reid & Bond ad.

He gave a smile for which I didn't know the reason then . I slowly worked for another half an hour and finally packed off . Felt great that day . Did some shadow boxing on the streets oblivious of the constant stares from the garment-factory figures and the so-called-ladies-college ....umm its hurts but still...Figures ( phew , I managed to type it )...

The whole day went about boasting about my adventures at gym . My poor bro was lifted into the air many a times as a testimonial for my gymming . Poor bro , I can imagine how I would have felt had someone lifted me somewhere close to the ceiling fan and rotated me ....
Finally I slept early as I was very tired .

The next morning ...oops sorry the next afternoon I was still struggling to get myself out of my bed . Felt someone should bring a stretcher to get me to the bathroom . Oh no . Each and every muscle ( don't laugh ...no comedy intended .I might have muscles ..miracles do happen ...)...coming back each and every muscle pained .

And suddenly my cell phone rang . "Come to my office urgently . I have some work for you " my mom spoke . Oh but why today . Anyway , with no other option I somehow managed to get up and when I began to walk . Oh , what the fuck . I was walking as if I had a football in between my legs . ( "Macha , you are over doing it ...do the leg thing next week else you wont be able to walk " the flashback played across ) ....I tried to join them but in vain .

Oh no , I was getting late . Will check this out later I told myself and soon I was there standing amidst the passengers of chennai suburban rail. And the imaginary football between my legs was still there . I tried different styles and position to bring them back together . But nothing worked and while I was still trying I saw a small boy staring at me and he wore a naughty smile . Then he stared at something behind me . I turned to see what it was . It was the diagram of a man with a huge ....ummm...ditch it ....it read ...Dr rajkumar ...some crap...contact me for cure of hernia ...Oh no ...Now I understood (My flashback went to those L.K.G days when my father warned me to wear an underwear or I would end up like that ). The boy was still staring with the I know-what-you-did-smile intact . Aaaarghhhh ...Naan avan ellai thambi (I am not him )...Its not what you think , dear young fellow ...Oh , but how do I explain . The stop arrived and I got down . He still kept staring and suddenly he broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter ...Aaaargh...I quickly turned around and tried to walk normally ..But in vain ...Arnold kumar - the damage is done .....

I stood staring at the mirror at the end of day happy to get rid of the imaginary football (of course after a whole day's struggle ) and decided a single pack was much better for me .

Finally after much emotional trauma and tears , I , arun kumar , bade goodbye to Arnold kumar .....

that's how the world lost Arnold kumar.........(Sobs)

P.S : I wish I never come across the boy in my entire life ...


  1. Heyyy hilarious.. bet ull never try this again.. and i hope u never see the boy again.. the best part was watevr had to be in tamil was in tamil.. soober :-)

  2. lollll....really funny..
    so looks like someone had wanted 6pck abs..
    wah wah...guess this wud teach a lesson to all the budding SRK's,hrithik roshans and of course our dear old stallone!!!!

    so,mr.rocky look alike,any idea in pursuing this "everest high" mission again????!!!!!
    if so do let us know...would be eagerly waiting for u to upload your macho-rocky pic in this blog instead of some random super star pic!!!! :):):)

  3. No more attempts at six pack...Arun is a contended man nowadays ...lol...n thanks a lot divya and vaishu for ur comments...keep visiting

  4. ha ha ha.... very cute post da....
    P.S.. reminds me of the days i walked like a robot after a few days at gym

  5. Boss,alot of fans for this blog here...

    "You and Arnold".. haha!! Hope to see you with your six pack soon :p