From me to you ...

Thousands of kutti kutti fights ...

Hundreds of misunderstandings ...
Loads of possesiveness....
A few heart shattering moments ...
A little bit of ego clashes...

That sudden thought of losing it all ...

and its been three years ...

nothing seems to have changed ..

or did it ??


We survived through everything...through every bit of the joy and the pain..through each and every struggle , blows and falls ...nursing each others wounds , growing stronger day by day , sometimes hurting each other in the process ...what started off just as yet another college love story , maybe went a bit too far was what the entire world thought ...or to be frank thats what we ourselves thought but time had its own plans and got its magic woven into our lives ...

three years is a pretty long time .Lots of things changed ...

those lovely walks along the college road .....
those lovely roadside teas...
those astrology sessions at the beach..
those days when I spent the entire day cleaning my bike just because I was supposed to go out with you the next day...
those days when the wallets were empty but the hearts were full ....
those days when I rode across 20 km just to wave a single 'hi' ...
those days when the phone bills kept raising while I always felt we never spoke enough ...
those lovely afternoons where we roamed around the streets of anna nagar in search of an abandoned puppy ...
those evenings when I held your hands wishing on the sun that set across the horizon...
those nights which taught me what missing someone really meant....

and finally along with all these ....

yet another thing changed ...

......US.....

I started chasing a career , money and a few more of things which I never could decipher...In the journey that followed I made a few sacrifices , made a few choices , made a lot of blunders...

And I thought it was always for that someone ...

for that you...

but little did I know it wasnt what you wanted ....you wanted somethin else..it was not about gettin back those walks or talks ...though from heart there isnt a day that passes where I do not wish for those moments...it was more than that ...it was about the spirit ...it was about that zest for life which we both had ...that beauty which we saw in those chill zephyrs , that cold waves which splashed across our feet and that one last phone call each night....it was about the joy of living each moment ...we really did own the world though for a very small time ...and somewhere along the way we got lost admist work pressures , CTC's , careers , onsite and what not...

But at this moment , as I sit along the low parapet walls of my terrace crisscrossing my legs and savoring the hot tea with the chill breeze giving me company thanks to the cocunut trees , there is just one thing I would like to say ...

There is just one little, insignificant thing that still hasn't changed ...

"I STILL LOVE YOU ".......

Romancing with Life ...

Garishly painted walls , dim lights which find their way through the smoke filled air , blaring sounds from an old radio , broken chairs and ....

Long back at the same place...

"Watha" I slammed against the table "why the fuck did she do this to me machan ". The unusual silence greeted my anger...everyone around me kept quiet .....


Not long back ..

"machan ...she is back with me ...ummale finally machan ...can u believe it guys...she is back ...she is mine ...just mine...oooooooooooo" the ecstatic shout echoes through the small place as my clenched fist punched across the air with joy....

at sometime I dont remember ...

"Aah finally , its all over machan ...we are engineers ....we made it...no more exams ..no more labs ...no more machines ..no more circuits ...aahaaaaaaaaa feels like heaven ..."

at a time which I wish to forget

"machan I am placed in a software firm...whoaaa.....loads of money...foreign trips ..team parties ..pubbing...partying..n of course girls machan...ooooooo" I kept dreaming on the same broken chair . ( I still pity myself for all those dreams....silly me )

A few months back ,

"This IT field is killing me . I am going to do an MBA ...dont ask me why ...honestly I dont know ...But I have decided ..."I took a decision admist the hazy smoke at the same place...

exactly 4 months back ,

" I am no more a software engineer ...I am a student once again...aah ..finally back to college ..err not exactly a college but to a school ...a B school ...whatever ...watha its back to good old fun times " I kept smiling ...and of course at the same place ...

Well WTF am I coming at ...

Honestly , there is absolutely nothing philosophical coming up to interrelate all these incidents . So rest assured . There is just one little common thing .

All these took place at the same place and were followed by the same dialogue .

A dialogue which never changed though the times had changed . A dialogue which shall always remain forever irrespective of whichever stage I pass through in life . A dialogue which stood the test of time and forever etched itself in my life to become eternal .A dialogue which represented the aftermath of every emotion I went through in life - love , hate , failure , success , frustration , hope and joy .

And its time I let the world know those magical words ...

and it goes like

" ANNA .... ORU PLATE CHILLI CHICKEN THANGA !!!!!"

(bro , 1 plate chilli chicken plz )

And honestly , if it weren't for those lovely chilli chickens at our own roadside-fast-food-centers where each and every important incident of my life were either celebrated or brooded over , life would never have been the same .

Sorrows or joy , failures or success , rejection or acceptance .....all these come and go ...But make sure you dont lose out on these occasions to have the inevitable "chilli chicken". With a chicken out there on our plates we shall take a vow to believe in life , to enjoy our good times , to laugh our hearts out , to take failures in our stride , to stand back each and every time we fall , to make the best out of what life has to offer , to celebrate our freedom and at the end of it .....ummm errr .....Of course , eat the chicken on our plate ...what else !!!

This is dedicated to all those lovely souls who shared their glories and falls in life with a plate of chilli chicken at our very own street fast food centers .....

A whiff of nostalgia ...

Sleepless nights ... swollen eyes.... half hearted break fasts .... 2 minute phone calls... unshaven 3 day beard .... endless ppt's and pages which keep flipping ...that inexplicable feeling you get the moment you see the question paper...That little smile that you carry thinking "Oh , thats the 3rd consecutive rape " ...three hours pass by only to hear "macha the paper was fucked up "...well , its not the paper that got fucked but ....hmm....the same old smile ....

There was not much I could do . I lay back on my cot unmidful of the papers and stationery scattered on it ...the dust laden fan sprung into action ...Hidden amongst one of the several unknown cities of India.. amongst the outskirts of trichy.. amongst the several hostel rooms.. in the one little corner of my room , I gave a deep breath as a whiff of chill breeze had still managed to find me ...The smell of moist sands filled the room as they greeted the rains ... I slowly stood up , looked through the window which let in some rays of light into the otherwise dimly lit room ...The zephyr again braced me ... I smiled . Reason ...I have no idea ...It felt special ...it felt nostalgic ...

The joy of watching the first 'kathi-kappal ' travelling through the muddy waters leaving ripples that got lost as I grew and people said you are a 'grown up'....The freedom of dancing in the rain as if no one was watching (except for my mom)....Those little kicks across the water filled potholes which left my white canvas shoe with a beautiful mixture of colors ..The colours of innocence , freedom , joy ....Those cricket matches played under the rains...Those celebrations where rain drenched T shirts hugged each other..Those rainy evenings when I cried for I loved someone more than myself ... Those days when I never let her know my tears from the rains ... Those walks in the rains when I held her hands ...those little drops which blessed her little finger and slowly fell on to mine ..Those little romances with life as I sped through the empty stretches of chennai on a rainy friday night ...those special moments which still keep lingering around somewhere in the dust laden chambers of our hearts....Those moments which keep reminding us there is still a child in us ...

I guess life is all about those special moments . Its not about the days we did something great . Its just about those days where we did simple things , but nevertheless loved doing them. Its about the days where we were 'us' ....The days when we really lived our hearts out , believed we could be whatever we wanted , had dreams , laughed our hearts out ,had wounded knees and fought back like a warrior .....

But as we grew up somehow the child in us got lost in search of the so called bigger things . We got more cynical , depressed , complained at the drop of the hat .And I am no exception .But hold on ...
Well , we still haven't lost it all. We still have a chance ...Dont we ??

And here comes my chance ...

I love the rains ...

And here I go ....whoaaaaaa

While I get drenched in the rains (probably after a very long time ) you keep discovering the child in u .

Life is always beautiful so keep smiling and keep enjoying...cheers

But , Why me ??

Little did I know three months back , while I was having one of my yet-another-kumbakarna sleep in the afternoon , that soon sleep would become one of the most scarcest and sought after luxury . Thanks to my eventful entry into the 'much sought after ' B-School life. With exams taking their toll for the entire week I finally managed to get some sleep , as my eyes slowly dropped dead ,hidden amongst the pages of my marketing book . Though it wasn't intentional , nevertheless ,it was heavenly . Aah ... The good old sleep ....the good old honor of spreading your legs ,arms and enjoying the breeze of the dust laden ceiling fan , the good old cuddling and tossing around in the weirdest of positions , the good old nayanthara and preity zinta running behind me ...The good old dirty dreams ....the good old saliva drooping from the borders of my mouth finally finding its destiny in my dirty pillows ...Sometimes in life even the most simplest of things turn out to be the most enjoyable ones.

But as someone said , good things never last for too long . At some time , must be early in the morning , not sure , but since I was in the final stages of my dirty dreams it must be logically the morning ( Aaha ...I have already started applying my MBA brains ) . A shrill noise suddenly shrieked through my ears giving a strange vibration across my head ...Was it nayan or preity ...were they getting naughty ... must be ...or maybe not I realized , as I soon picked up my phone and fought for sometime trying to open my eyes to read the message ....

"Oye wife , had a great talk yesterday night..dont you want to wake me up with a coffee ....I love you so much wife ...Ummmhaaah"

sender
SIVA


WTF !!!!!!

As usual this weird friend of mine had sent the message intended for his girl friend to the poor-me .....

The clock showed 6 am . "Why this ratha veri machan" , I kept thinking ...

I slowly took my mobile ....
and typed

"watha ... A$$ H@*e "....

And thats the least I could do , before I slowly sat up looking dejectedly at my marketing book .

Good bye nayan ....Good bye my dear 'heavenly sleep '.........

Its back to study time folks ....

Will be back soon , once my midterms are over ...meanwhile you ppl keep having fun !!!!

Oye ....ever been to heaven !!!

The speedometer showed a needle vibrating across the 100 kmph mark as I raced through the empty curves in ECR . The sea breeze filled with a little extra bit of moisture as there was the most-unexpected-rain in the afternoons of one of Chennai's most dreaded summer season, gave us company all along the empty landscapes bounded with hordes of pine trees on either sides alternating with the sea shores . The hoardings of the endless resorts and eat outs decorated each and every corner of ECR .

ECR is known for its speed and the breeze . Each and every time you are there its a whole new different journey . The never ending horizon with a promise of an exciting adventure , the cool zephyrs which passionately kiss you , the pumping of the heart when you drag your bike along with you in a bend, The touch and go escapades with the 'mamas' who stand with their speed guns - the stories are many ... I adjusted the rear view mirror as I caught hold of her face changing into different shapes under the impact of the wind .She was struggling to keep her hair down and at the same time hold herself on to the bike . "A bit slower , idiot ," her muffled voice mixed with the sound of the wind feebly entered my ears .

As I further accelerated my grip , her grip around me tightened . "Oye , ever been to heaven ," I shouted ... She smiled still struggling with the wind . "Well here we go " ...I bent myself almost kissing my tank . While I left the fury of the wind to take its target with full might . "Whooaaahhh" she shouted . The wind came roaring and she slowly spread out her hands as I kept the throttle at its maximum . "Ooohooooooo , I am flying " she laughed ...Her laughter echoed through the lonely stretches of ecr , across the dancing trees , through the cloudy skies and at last through the tunnels hidden deep inside my heart....... I slowly sat up . She was still laughing .

"Oye have you ever been to heaven ? " ... She came forward , bit a little bit of my right ear and whispered "Ya , just now ...I was in heaven ". As the breeze slowly brushed my ears, the little remains of moisture in my ears evaporated under the cold winds as I slowly got mesmerized . "Ya just now ...I was in heaven " the voice kept echoing in my ears.......

And so was I .......

It just seems like yesterday....

"Oye you are getting me wet," I shouted as yet another splash of water coming from her kicks across the silent sea drenched me . I kicked back sending the salty water right across her face. "Thu...thu," she started spitting , unable to withstand the salty taste . And a few seconds later both of us were trying different styles of kicks , trying to perfect the one which would help land the maximum amount of water on the other person. And the poses struck while trying these , ranging from the thakida-thaka-thimi-malayala-bhagawathi pose to the Oh-god-I-stamped-a-fresh-cowdung-pose held the attention of a lot many curious passerbys. ... .Soon I was there walking along the shores of besse , drenched like a pig , with the sandals on one hand and the two little soft fingers on the other .The bottom of the jeans which was initially folded in order to resemble the height level of the traditional Patta-patti shorts
(the one worn by Raj Kiran ) had slowly lowered itself and carried loads of wet sand along with it , thereby perfectly supplementing the slow drag of the foot along the shores . We laughed , hit each other in the softest way so as to just about qualify as a 'hit', shouted and again laughed . Honestly , I don't know why we always laugh ........

The walk neither had a place to start nor a destination , but the nomadic freedom of strolling along the shores in search of the 'nothing' ( maybe because I felt like I had everything) truly made it special . The entire screen of the skies seemed to open themselves , as the stage of the sea shore was all set to witness a little peek-a-boo into one amongst the so many simple yet beautiful moments of our lives .

The waves kept kissing our feet and as they retreated the feet got a little submerged in the sand followed by a wide scattered scampering of the crabs into their holes . This happened for a few times and soon the feet got entirely submerged . And as we took it out , the laughs continued . Those meaningless laughs which had only one reason . Love...We kept walking , as if we were the only ones on the beach having our own special moments . The breeze seemed to follow us wherever we went . The upturned dusty catamarans , the smell of bajjis , the little quiver each time a zephyr sails across the damp parts of the body , the joyous shouts of the children playing merry-go-round , the footprints that you leave behind on the wet sand , the little boys with bright smiles carrying the smell of sundal along with them , The balloons which strew the sands with the help of the beach breeze escaping the wrath of the shooters who stand with wooden guns ,the couples who get cozy in their own world oblivious of the stares of millions around them , the astrologers wanting to have a share of my sweethearts tiny little palms in the promise of predicting a bright future - forming the backdrop , I held her hands whispering the hope of a future ,while the little fingers played around and held to each other promising never to part .

The wet footprints left behind us slowly got washed away under the gentle waves . The never ending horizon loomed across the ocean forming a thin line between the sea and the sky as the sea covered the entire endless stretch that my eyes could span . The wounds of our past slowly healed and vanished just like those footprints with the hope of a future called 'us' slowly embarking upon the horizon .

"Oye ", I placed my palms on her cheeks with my luckiest index finger being the first to touch, and a little-less-luckier middle finger coming second . I slowly hushed away a few strands of her hair which were playing around in the wind and tucked them behind her left ear . She smiled as always . This was the ...err.. I had lost the count as to how many times I had done that on that day . It started a few hours back when we had gone to get her a pair of shades , and each and every time she wore one I used to follow the ritual . Her blush accompanied by the little bend in her curved eyebrows whispering me the unspoken words 'How is it ? "...She looked heavenly irrespective of the shades ..."Oye .. What happened " she shook me as I again went into daydreaming mode .

"Nothing ...its just that I got lost in you , yet again..... ,"I thought

Soon after , with a one leg broken chair holding the plate of beach bajjis , and two other chairs holding us , the madness called love continued , as we savored the 'onion bajjis ' of besse . The conversations which never had a topic for the last two years as always continued too .

It was at this same place a year back she came up with a strange request

"Can you write a poem for me? "

I obliged and immediately went on like ....

"You know what ???"

"what???"

"I love you a lot !!!!! ....."

No wonder she never spoke about poems from that day onwards .....

And suddenly since I remembered that , I gave her a wink and sending a bajji through my mouth I mumbled

"You know what???"

She gave a naughty look of nostalgia and shouted ,

"I love you a lottttttttttttttttttt.............."

The echoes of our laughter broke through the waves of the ocean ....

I guess those laughs are still alive, lost somewhere amongst the waves of besse and and each and everytime we go to besse , a few more laughs get added to our deposits of love amongst the several others in the waves of besse.....

In the canvass of 'our lives' the splash of colors of hope , love and joy spread as we thanked 'fate'-the artist' , who had indeed done a nice job .. I wish time had just frozen there ....

Those crazy days , meaningless laughs , even-an-ass-hole-would-write-better-than-you poems , aimless walks , never ending drives , heavenly whispers , naughty winks .....

It just seems like yesterday........

ARNOLD KUMAR goes to the gym !!!!!

It was the ...umm ...I don't remember the exact count but must be the sixth or the seventh time I was glued on to star movies watching my thala ( our screen heroes for whom we would do anything ) sylvester stallone bash up the Russians in RAMBO 3 . All pumped up I went in front of the mirror , stripped off my shirt ...And giving a What-a-man look at myself , I shouted "yeaaaaaaaahhhhhh " which almost shook my entire colony (My downstairs mama has got yet another reason to complain against me in the society meeting ...).

I wrenched and flexed each and every not-visible-to-human-eye muscles on my body and called my young 10 year old brother .In fact he had come there without me calling him courtesy- my nasal capacity ."Count the no of packs " I called out to him giving a proud look .

"One . " he stopped . "And then ..." I flexed again ..."One" this time he sounded louder "and that's it ".......

"Yeahhhhhhhhh" I growled again and took two push ups (the maximum till date ) ... "Now count " I sounded like an arrogant goon .

"One "......."Ayoo , mummy , even thollai thangalai...please help me " ( Loosely translated - "I am fed up with his antics...mom please save me )...

Soon I realised I had just a single pack . Five short .

Oh god . I thought for five minutes sitting at the place where each and every guy on earth spends his maximum time and usually comes up with brilliant ideas .Soon I flushed all the useless ideas and came out . Decided . I am hitting the gym from tomorrow ...

"MISSION ARNOLD KUMAR " - from arun kumar to arnold kumar in three weeks ......

(coz sylvester kumar sounded weird )

The next day at gym...

"Macha don't over do ...just warm up "said my so called body builder , friend Visu .

"ha ha ...ethellam nee arun kumar kitta sollu ...naan arnold kumar da " I growled looking sympathetically at the other silly-small-boy-body-builders out there as I kept dancing around in a round disc which kept rotating from one side to the other along with me . This was easy . I mean for Arnold kumar , obviously , anything was easy .

Then slowly I lifted some weights and did a few other similar versions of it and finally when I went on to the leg crunches section . "Macha , you are over doing it ...do the leg thing next week else you wont be able to walk " he warned ..."Silly fellow ...kumar...arnold kumar machan " I replied with the poise of Reid & Bond ad.

He gave a smile for which I didn't know the reason then . I slowly worked for another half an hour and finally packed off . Felt great that day . Did some shadow boxing on the streets oblivious of the constant stares from the garment-factory figures and the so-called-ladies-college ....umm its hurts but still...Figures ( phew , I managed to type it )...

The whole day went about boasting about my adventures at gym . My poor bro was lifted into the air many a times as a testimonial for my gymming . Poor bro , I can imagine how I would have felt had someone lifted me somewhere close to the ceiling fan and rotated me ....

Finally I slept early as I was very tired .

The next morning ...oops sorry the next afternoon I was still struggling to get myself out of my bed . Felt someone should bring a stretcher to get me to the bathroom . Oh no . Each and every muscle ( don't laugh ...no comedy intended .I might have muscles ..miracles do happen ...)...coming back each and every muscle pained .

And suddenly my cell phone rang . "Come to my office urgently . I have some work for you " my mom spoke . Oh but why today . Anyway , with no other option I somehow managed to get up and when I began to walk . Oh , what the fuck . I was walking as if I had a football in between my legs . ( "Macha , you are over doing it ...do the leg thing next week else you wont be able to walk " the flashback played across ) ....I tried to join them but in vain .

Oh no , I was getting late . Will check this out later I told myself and soon I was there standing amidst the passengers of chennai suburban rail. And the imaginary football between my legs was still there . I tried different styles and position to bring them back together . But nothing worked and while I was still trying I saw a small boy staring at me and he wore a naughty smile . Then he stared at something behind me . I turned to see what it was . It was the diagram of a man with a huge ....ummm...ditch it ....it read ...Dr rajkumar ...some crap...contact me for cure of hernia ...Oh no ...Now I understood (My flashback went to those L.K.G days when my father warned me to wear an underwear or I would end up like that ). The boy was still staring with the I know-what-you-did-smile intact . Aaaarghhhh ...Naan avan ellai thambi (I am not him )...Its not what you think , dear young fellow ...Oh , but how do I explain . The stop arrived and I got down . He still kept staring and suddenly he broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter ...Aaaargh...I quickly turned around and tried to walk normally ..But in vain ...Arnold kumar - the damage is done .....

I stood staring at the mirror at the end of day happy to get rid of the imaginary football (of course after a whole day's struggle ) and decided a single pack was much better for me .

Finally after much emotional trauma and tears , I , arun kumar , bade goodbye to Arnold kumar .....

And that's how the world lost Arnold kumar.........(Sobs)

P.S : I wish I never come across the boy in my entire life ...