Apr 16, 2010

Now , I know the answer ...

Feb 18th ,2009

Amidst the bantering of the bangle selling lady who had finally decided to take rest on the path near the door of the train's compartment , amidst the wails of the child which rubbed through its flowing nose , amidst the face of the old beggar which held those untold stories , amidst the gushing water across the tap with the gargling sound from the uncle's mouth supplementing it , I sat there on the doorstep motionlessly still with the mirage of trees , barren lands , electric wires ,transformers sketching across the endless horizon... It was yet another assignment as a part of my job and there I was on my way to Edappal , a small village in Kerela .

The same question cropped up "Why do I need to do this ??" .
One question which haunted me for two years and as always the answer was the same . "My salary is getting credited day after tomorrow " the inner voice spoke . The same salary which the first time bought my mom a diamond pendant , the same salary which bought my girlfriend the gold ring , the same salary which bought me my pepe jeans , the same salary which bought me cold cofees at coffee day ....

but there was one little insignificant thing which it never bought me ....

Happiness....

A lot of such train journeys had passed before I finally had the guts to call it quits and finally follow my heart ...Its been a year . Have things changed . Have I learnt something . Have I really earned my smile....

July 10
th , 2009

A new life had begun . The grinds and grills of an MBA had begun , the assignments had begun , the presentations had begun , the screwing ups had begun ,the friendships had begun , the dreams had begun , the journey had begun .... As all these began , there was this sudden excitement towards which committee you had to be in . As every B School proudly says we are run for the students , by the students and of the students , it is these committees that actually do the above stated ...

Having been existing for 24 years , if there is one thing that I am completely sure of me - its the fact that I can easily beat anyone to the top of Forbes worlds most laziest people list .

So obviously to join no committees was my first motto but as fate had to play its role (I reserve that story for some other time) somehow I ended up in one of the committees - placom (the placement committee).

The entire batch after those mind boggling classes had a sigh of relief as they sipped through the hot coffee , guffawing and rambling about the various rumors and grape wines of the college . At one lonely corner of the college , "Mam , this is arun calling from....can we get an appointment for a corporate presentation for our execs placements " ..The calling had begun for fixing appointments for making presentations the next month to corporates (yup the same place from which I had come )..One month had gone by and so did lot of coffees and interseting gossips .I was missing all the fun and somewhere deep inside it didnt feel great... The planning had begun for the presentation at delhi ( I was in the delhi team !!) , the brochures , the cds , the list of companies , addresses , hr nos , train tickets , stay ...the list went on...

Soon I was walking across the streets of
delhi , trying to find out where the offices of the companies were situated . As always I ended up walking several miles, thanks to my 'ek gaon mein ek kissan ' hindi speaking skills .This became a routine as the mornings were filled with work and the evenings were filled with bird-watching sessions and tandoori chicken . With a hectic one week all the presentations were made .

And then finally came the DAY ..The first company was coming to campus the next day . Its 2 P.m in the night as I took the final printout of the resumes of the students who had applied . And At 2.30 p.m I went to the guest house to welcome the recruiters to the campus( they had a delay in their travel..a pretty loooong one ...phew) and showed them around their rooms and finally went back to my room at 3 P.M . Just when i thought I had just slept , a call woke me up "Arun , what would they be needing for breakfast " . The clock needle seemed to quiver around the number 6 as I woke up and soon I was running across in my blazer accompanying the recruiters for the breakfast . The process had begun . There were several last minute corrections in the resume , several queries ,and several anxious faces ...

The day went on and on and slowly the filtering was done with the final 10 ready to enter the interviews. The clock showed 11.30 p.m as the final candidate went in ..
I stood there outside with my knees starting to ache and my tired eyelids desperately wanting to kiss each other...

The same old question dawned "Why do I need to do this ?"

But before I could really think the door threw open and the last candidate was out . Soon I went inside after a 10 minute hiatus . The HR's seemed to be in a very serious discussion and finally the gave me the names . Two of them had been selected . Quickly I dialled their nos and said " Hey , congrats you are selected "....

And that one single moment that followed . I will never ever forget. ...that strange inexplicable feeling ...that little flutter across my heart ...that subtle joy ..that final taste of that little thing which money never bought me ...that little thing called Satisfaction... .I guess the guy on the other line said thanks but I
don't remember . And it didn't matter . In a few minutes I could see shouts of joy "machan I made it " ,clenched hands punching the skies with ecstasy , smiling faces reaching out to their near and dear ones sharing their joy .

At one silent corner ,as I watched all these the question cropped
"Why do I need to do this ?"

A few meters away from me I saw that joy on his face . That smile of conquering everything .That joyous voice over the phones shouting "ma ., I am placed " . That expression which spoke of victory and that some thing which I will never be able to explain.

And a silent voice within me spoke " This is why you need to do this !!!"

Months of hard work ,those missed coffees , those cribbings, those from-where-the-hell-do-they-crop-up problems ,those never ending planning , all those pains which went to it , my aching knees ....None of these mattered....

I slowly dropped into my bed .. I smiled ....

April 15th , 2010

The year had ended . I stood there near the door of my train compartment on my way back to Chennai from Trichy. There were times when I worked for money . And now these are times when I work for free , and I bet on my life that sometimes I have worked much more than what I actually did when I was paid . And honestly it feels great . To know that you worked , not for money , not for your personal gains but in order to bring that little smile on someones face .

And now I realize the problem was not my job but....

the person for whom I worked ...money..

I gave a smile as the winds brushed through my face and ruffled hair .

The same question but.....

Now I knew the answer ....

I kept smiling ...

Sometimes these simple experiences go on to teach us the biggest lessons in our lives...U keep searching for that 'something' everywhere and all of a sudden it just comes so unexpectedly , just like that chill breeze on a hot summer afternoon , nothing dramatic , nothing mind blowing ,but just hidden amongst the casual yet-another-day-of -life....So lets stop complaining and start relishing these simple experiences for what they have to offer and do our small part to bring that little smile back into people's lives...

Smile ...come what may !!!!